I just recently joined the world of iPhone ownership, and have been dazzled with the wide variety of crazy ass games available for it. By accident, I stumbled on a truly bizarre work of art called Enviro-Bear. Featuring wonderfully clunky old school graphics from the Colecovision era, this treat lets you experience the joy of what it would be like if you were a bear driving a car.
At first play, it just seems like a non responsive joke, but once you figure out the tricks, it’s…well, it’s still a big crazy joke, but it’s worth a lot of laughs if you like totally crazy stuff. Definitely worth your 99 cents! retroCRUSH APPROVED!
Check out this fantastic picture of Jessica Rabbit by Yue Wang! You can see these and some more great stuff on a gallery feature on Comics Alliance, including some retro-riffic pics of Link, and Chun-Li.
Thanks to retroCRUSH Super-Fan Loren Greenblatt for tipping me off to this super mega awesome web series, DANGER 5! The premiere is set for November 21st, and this trailer alone ranks it among the top TV shows ever made. Nazi robots! Robot Dinosaurs! Sexy Nazi Chicks! And Hitler jumping through a 2nd story window! This is sort of a live action version of Team America mixed with Ultraman and all of the toys in your backyard. ENJOY! We’ll try and get some more info and interviews from the folks who put this together soon!
Back in 1988, Public Enemy recorded “Black Steel In The Hour of Chaos”, a hardcore rap about in which Chuck D narrates his incarceration which culminates in a dramatic prison riot. For the longest time, this was thought to be a fictional dramatization, but I recently came across this 100% authentic letter from The Government which is practically a verbatim outline for what Chuck is singing about in the video. CLICK HERE and see the video yourself, if you don’t believe me. I’m willing to sell this letter for 40 Jillion if anyone’s interested in owing a true piece of Hip Hop History.
I’ve always had a soft spot for Boo-Berry. His cereal is a bit on the ghastly tasting side, but since his debut in 1973, I’ve loved him. Frankberry and Count Chocula were always great standbys when I was growing up. I only got to eat them occasionally, mind you, as my parents would typically only by un-sugared cereals with Cheerios being about the most exotic bowls to enjoy, but at friends’ houses, I really got to let loose.
Recent redesigns of the boxes make Boo-Berry look a little too streamlined and cool for my liking, but that’s par for the course for most things aimed at kids these days. And I know it’s not just me saying “things sure tasted better when I was a kid”, but they clearly changed the recipe for all of the monster cereals.
A year after Boo-Berry was introduced, General Mills unleashed Fruit Brute on the world. The Fruit Brute werewolf was a great addition to the monster stable, but the cereal was mysteriously discontinued in 1983. The cereal has a cameo appearance in Pulp Fiction, featuring Eric Stoltz’s character eating the stuff.
From 1987 to 1990, Fruit Brute cereal was brought back in identical form as Yummy Mummy. But he didn’t stay around long enough to get much of a legendary status. This commercial is actually one of the catchier monster cereal ads they’ve made with the hard to forget “Makes Your Tummy Go Yummy” slogan.
The original 3 monster cereals are still produced seasonally, and they’re appearance at the grocery store is a perfect sign of the Fall weather about to begin. Some stores are carrying Frankenberry and Boo-Berry themed fruit roll up snacks, as well.
I’ll leave you with this wonderful animation project in which Frankenberry and Count Chocula’s original commercial is redone with using CGI in the style of those awesome Rankin Bass stop motion specials.
In this era of wonderfully animated computer generated creatures in film, it’s easy to forget that 70 years ago, a fantastic giant monster movie was made with painstaking frame by frame animation of an 18 inch model! Despite its age, King Kong still stands out as one of the most fantastic and thrilling monster movies ever made, setting the stage for giant monster movies for decades to come.
When Kong was first released in 1933, it had the most successful opening weekend of the time. Bear in mind, this was in an age when you didn’t have 2000 theaters ready to show it at once. In fact, when Kong premiered at TWO of New York’s biggest movie houses, it was considered extravagant. The film grossed $90,000. The amount seems a pittance, but when you consider the average ticket price was a mere 15 cents at the time, that would translate to a $5.4 Million opening in with today’s $9 average cost. And again, this was the gross from TWO THEATERS!
KONG MYSTERY: Why was the giant wall built to hold him back from the native village on Skull Island? Why on earth did they even bother making that big door, anyway?
Kong also holds the distinction of being the first film successful enough to be re-released. Prior to that, “older” films never saw the light of day again in first run theater. Its also one of the first films to get censored to appease conservative studio bosses, fearful that Kong was a bit too shocking and gruesome with his behavior. Read more »
Over on our Facebook, a bunch of friends went on a tear coming up with funny porn version of classic Star Wars character names. We all laughed pretty damn hard, and thought it was too good not to share with all of my buddies on retroCRUSH! Thanks to Robert, Tony, Jaime, Anya, Jewel, Nell, Woody, and Jenny for the fantastic suggestions (I think you’ll be happy not to have your last names associated with this article in Google searches!) So without further ado…
Grand Muff Tarkin
Lando Caljizzian
Hand Solo
C3P-Ohhhhhh!
Luke Skyfelcher
Salacious Cum
Kit Fisto
Cum Stained Bib Fortuna
Facial Windu
Analkin Skywalker
IG-8″
Wedge Antitties
Screwbacca
Choada
Oola-la
Grand Muff Diver
Male Organa
Jabba the Slut
Slit Fisto
Poundme Foradollah
Boba Fettish
Jug Jug Boinks
The Cram-more-ian Guard
The Sar-lick Pit
R2D-SCREW
Longtime retroCRUSH artist pal Brandon Bird (we interviewed him back in 2003) has released 2 different lunchboxes featuring his super cool-ass goofy pop culture art. Whether you’d like the sensual stylings of Eric Roberts riding a white horse by a magic castle, or the cast of Gran Torino re-imagined as a classic Filmation Saturday morning cartoon, your lunch will thank you! They’re available for $20 each, and prints are also for sale. CLICK HERE to get yours today!
Pat Morita’s widow is auctioning a handful of fun items from the legendary actor’s estate on eBay. Some items (like a cigarette lighter) have fairly reasonable opening bids, so it’s not too outrageous if you’d like a relic from the incomparable funnyman. Sadly, there’s nothing really iconic up for grabs, just a bunch of stuff you’d expect to find at any neighbor’s estate sale. CLICK HERE to view the auction. Thanks to retroCRUSH reader Frank Tipaldo for the tip!
January 25th, 2012 
rberry 
