AN HOMAGE TO LOVIATAR

I used to have a huge crush on this illustration in the 1980 original Dungeons and Dragons "Deities and Demigods" manual. This was a hardcover reference book that was used so the character you created can choose their religious affiliation. It was a cool way to decide on what faith you wanted that I think we'd benefit greatly from today. As you might expect, the Babylonian pantheon of gods weren't quite as well known as their Egyptian and Greek counterparts, so they had to sex it up to get followers wit hot pictures like this! Loviatar (also known as "Maiden of Pain" and "Goddess of Hurt") emits a icy wind when she speaks, which apparently also keeps her exposed nipples in a permanently erect state. Looking back, she's rather crudely drawn, and I believe at that age I was equally turned on by their illustrations of harpies. At a time when the lingerie section of a Spiegel catalog was the epitome of sexiness, crudely drawn tits in a role playing game book were like discovering a pot of gold. Thanks for the great times, Loviatar. Hope life is treating you well!

SEE HA HA HEATHENS IN NY

Here's a fun flyer I made for my friend Keith Lowell Jensen's comedy show in NY on September 19th. I had the pleasure of performing the San Francisco show last month. Check it out! Keith's CD/DVD "Atheist Christmas" comes out this November on Stand Up Records.

Mr. T's EROTIC BUTTER TRICKS

A year or so before I started retroCRUSH, I wrote for Matt C's great pop culture humor site, X-Entertainment (which is still on the net, but has morphed into the wonderful and regularly updated Dinosaur Dracula!. At the time, it was quite a fun thing for us to tell comic strip style stories using action figures and toys we had lying around the house. I specifically bought this gorgeous 12" Mr. T figure just to use for articles of this sort. Anyway, I was digging through some old articles and read it again it was horribly written and contained references barely made sense, but there was something so fun and silly about it that I decided to clean it up and modernize it. I with the photos were bigger, but this was written in a time where people were still using Dial Up Modems and bandwidth wasn't cheap, so we kept the photos grainy and small so the pages didn't take forever to load up. CLICK HERE TO ENJOY THE REST OF THIS TIMELESS CLASSIC.