Robert Berry

Swamp Makes You Think

Swamp Thing Painting

I started painting with acrylics recently. I’ve always drawn with pen and pencil mediums but aside from some watercolor in my youth I never painted much. I don’t know much of what I’m doing yet but I really like the textures and colors of a few of my first tries.

This one is inspired by the old Berni Wrightson Swamp Thing from “House of Secrets” #92. I posted this on LinkedIn and a friend of mine mentioned that it reminded … read more

Norm Macdonald Will Be Missed


photo of me meeting Norm years ago

Yesterday’s death of Norm Macdonald hit me pretty hard. He’s easily my favorite comedian of all time, and maybe one of the funniest people to have ever done the job. I loved him before I was a comedian and loved him even more once I became one. His joke writing was equal parts silly and brutal. He wasn’t afraid to tell a dumb joke, but would deliver it with an equaled sincerity that … read more

Messing with Scammers on The Phone

SCAMMER: “I am with the IRS and we have suspended your Social Security Number due to traces of fraudulent activity and will be sending the cops to your house unless you give us information to fix this.”
ME: “Oh no…what do I need to do?”
SCAMMER: “Please verify your name and birthday first?”
ME: “Or the cops will come to my house?”
SCAMMER: “Yes, the cops will come to your house.”
ME: “Actually, send them over. I’ll wait on the
… read more

Midnight Movies

Once I saw The Shining at a midnight movie and the crowd was so rowdy and drunk they were cheering for Jack Nicholson. Then I came back for a Star Wars midnight movie and they were cheering for Darth Vader. Then next week for a Woody Allen movie and they cheered for Woody Allen.… read more

Gangsta’s Paradise

Once I hosted a comedy show at Luna’s Cafe in Sacrametno and I introduced every comedian with credits that were actually lyrics from Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise.” stuff like “Our next comic is so crazy, even their momma thinks that their mind is gone!” or “Our next comic walked through the valley of the shadow of death and took a look at their life and realized there’s nothing left!” The only thing is that nobody understood what I was doing and … read more

Great Things In Store for RETROCRUSH

It’s hard to believe that this site has been around for 20 years now. Sorry I have so much of the archives offline at the moment, but we’ll have the best of the last 2 decades restored soon! I had originally made this site using old school HTML and Microsoft Front Page, so removing things like embedded code, bad links, and more were always a nightmare. I’m not the biggest fan of WordPress, but it will make it easier to … read more

SUPERMAN’S WEIRD CHAIN FETISH

The image of Superman breaking chains is an iconic and classic way to show off his amazing strength, but the question remains, why does he let people put chains on him in the first place? It’s such a weird kink fetish. My friend, comedian Jessica Roberts, reminds me that he probably does it so the bad guy will do his inevitable speech and Superman will learn his plans. I think he’s just really into bondage, to be honest.

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Sacramento Area Comedy Open Mics

Here’s a list of the open mics in Sacramento and the surrounding area. Enjoy! Try out stand-up comedy today!

Monday: The Scoreboard in Citrus Heights (7691 Auburn Blvd- signups 730, 8PM show- hosted by Matt Medina)
Monday: The Lab in Chico (250 Cohasset Rd , Chico, 8PM hosted by Jesse Mitchell)
Tuesday: Sacramento Comedy Spot (1050 20th St, sign-up 730, 8PM show – priority to comics with guests- list fills instantly) PROOF of VACCINATION REQUIRED
Tuesday: The Canyon
… read more