Robert Berry

Kick It

The morning alarm didn’t ring. I woke up a good 90 minutes after I was supposed to, and I simply didn’t want to go to school. My mother came in and insisted, despite my pleas to stay home.
By the time I got there I had already missed the first two classes, and of course I didn’t do the homework. The teacher just went on and on like some holier than thou preacher at me, in front of the whole
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Constructive Heckles

“You’re stepping on your laughs! Take a few beats before you start the next joke!”
“You kind of spoiled the punch line there by saying that same word in your premise! Change it!”
“We don’t care if that’s a new joke. Just think about why it didn’t work and try again another way!”
“Put that mic stand behind you. You’re the star of this show, not the stand!”
“That’s LITERALLY not what LITERALLY means!”
“We just gave it up for
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Robert Berry Comedian Bio

Robert Berry is a sinisterly clever comedian with jokes that dance between dark silliness to I can’t believe he said that absurdity. After an elderly gent told him after a show, “That was the best dead baby joke I’ve ever heard in my whole life”, Robert knew he was in the big leagues. Robert has performed in clubs and colleges all over globe’s Sacramento region. He’s opened for several talented headliners who had no say whatsoever in his booking and … read more

Long Time, No See!

Hey! Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything here, but we can change that now, right? I’ve been having a good time just enjoying life lately. Stand Up comedy is still a big part of my life, and I’m performing frequently around Northern California.  Here’s a link to a fun set I did in December at the San Francisco Punch Line that you might enjoy.

Anyway, I’m going to commit to writing a little something on here every … read more

Just Finished Red Dead Redemption 2

The original Red Dead Redemption has long been one of the best games I ever played. I thought it was so perfect that I was afraid to play Red Dead Redemption 2, thinking it couldn’t possibly live up to the original Rockstar Games classic. It’s probably one of the most fun, deep, and emotionally great videogames I’ve ever played. Now let’s see what Grand Theft Auto 6 will be like.… read more

DESTROYING A DOG!

Hahah…I picked this Mars Attacks! figure up at World’s Best Comics in Sacramento today, and it’s wonderful. The original ’60s Topps cards were amazingly lurid and one of them featured a horrible Martian blasting a dog with his ray gun wtih the card title “Destroying A Dog.” This figure by ReAction even includes the ill-fated dog as an accessory. You can check out so many more cool figures by ReAction right here.… read more

Captain America Pretends to be Sick and Steals Cars

One of the weirdly charming and bizarre parts of the forgotten 1990 Captain America film is when he pretends to be carsick to steal a car. It’s a weird enough scene to see once, but as you’ll see in the video clip below, he actually pulls this stunt TWICE! Who wants to see Cap throw his shield and do cool stunts when you can enjoy him faking nausea and carjacking innocent citizens?

I was working in San Francisco in the … read more

The Rob Zombie retroCRUSH Interview

Here’s a fun interview I did with Rob Zombie back in 2011. He was doing a practice show at now long gone theater in Modesto called The Fat Cat. What a thrill it was to interview him in his trailer before the concert. Rob is one of the cooler guys I ever met. He emailed me out of nowhere years back to thank me for the review I gave his masterpiece The Devil’s Rejects. We corresponded off and on and … read more

The Christmas Camera


It was Christmas 2006 and my dad wanted an expensive digital camera as a present. He had enough money saved up for it, but I was in charge of his finances because he has Alzheimer’s Disease, and he was unable to control his own money. I had told him that since he didn’t have a computer and he was prone to losing things, it wasn’t a smart purchase, but he could use an older camera of mine any time he … read more