retroCRUSH POLL: The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
November 30th, 2009 
rberry 
November 30th, 2009 rberry 
Posted in 
Tags:
I think I’d have to say “Santa Baby” By Madonna and “Do They Know It’s Christmas.” “Christmas Shoes” and “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” by Bruce Springsteen too.
I like the “Santa Baby” song when it was sung by the amazing Eartha Kitt. Eartha sings it in a cool, sultry way and making it a fun song. But when Madonna sang “Santa Baby” it was just annoying with the bad Betty Boop attempt. It sucks that that version seems to get played more.
“Do They Know It’s Christmas” has a good sound but the lyrics -while well meaning- have some ridiculous metaphors. Just listen to the lyrics. “Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears. And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom.” The Clanging chimes of… DOOM! Clanging chimes of doom?! Really? Plus most people will listen to the song but see it as a cheerful song because of the pretty chorus and melody, COMPLETELY ignoring the meaning. Well, I guess at least some good came of it since the money went to a good cause (the Famine in Ethiopia).
While “Christmas Shoes” is actually kind of touching, at least to most people. It feels touching at first but later on it feels depressing. I wouldn’t call it the WORST but it’s not for everybody. I actually found the TV movie to be very good, maybe its the fact that you get to know the characters better in the movie rather than the song. I’d recommend the movie though.
“Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” by Bruce Springsteen has never been my favorite. I just can’t stand the vocals he does. It sounds sort of like constipated grr-ing and I could definitely do without the beginning from the live thing he was obviously doing, it makes the song longer and certainly not more enjoyable (more like more annoying having to hear 45 seconds of crap before hearing the song which isn’t all that great).
I actually like most of the others though I haven’t heard “Dominick The Donkey” or “Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas.” They sound a bit out there but I’m not going to judge them till I check them out.
I mean sure not a lot of people appreciate “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” but it’s FUN. It’s just fun to hear. And how can every version of “The Little Drummer Boy” be on here? That’s pretty much a classic.
—-
If you do the coolest Christmas Songs of All Time don’t forget to include “Fairytale Of New York” by the Pogues. It’s an like an Irish folk ballad and it’s great. It’s the only Christmas song I know to have words like bum, slut, scumbag, and faggot while still having a great tune and sounding romantic.