A LOOK AT THE BEST RETRO BIKES

 

The motorcycle industry has had its ups and downs. There have been bad decisions and great decisions when it comes to designs, but the past has always been the place to find the best of the best. Retro bikes will always have their place on our roads. So, to honour them, here are a few of the best retro bikes:  

Honda Rebel

You’re not going to win any races or wake any neighbours with this little baby, but you’ll probably have the most comfortable ride of your life. This fun little rebel goes up to speeds of 70 mph and is incredibly lightweight and easy to handle. Not only is the Honda Rebel an easy, comfortable ride. It’s also fuel-efficient and very reasonably priced. The Honda Rebel is a trusty steed, even for the less experienced riders, and has that classic ‘70s vintage look that will make you feel like the coolest thing on the road.

BMW R32

When you think of Retro bikes this is probably the one you’re imagining. By today’s standards of functionality, this bike is pretty ridiculous. But, in terms of style and historical significance, this is one of the best bikes in the world. Released in 1923, the R32 was the first bike BMW made after they were banned from making airplanes and the layouts of practically all of the bikes they’ve made ever since are based on the original R32. You’d be lucky to come across one of these in the wild, but you’ll find that even pieces of one of the originals will cost you an arm and a leg. So, it’s probably best to just admire the R32 from afar.

Royal Enfield Classic 500

This machine is 100% personality. The Royal Enfield Classic is a bike that will open your eyes to what riding is supposed to be like. It’s not about speed or agility. It’s about taking the long way home and choosing the winding roads rather than the straights. Riding the Classic is as fun as it is cool. Its lightweight frame makes those turns as smooth as butter and its suspension is capable of easing over the odd cracks and holes in the road. The price is also pretty great and you’ll find the Classic to be a great bike to make your everyday travels easy and actually enjoyable for a change.

Velocette Viper

You might want to get motorcycle insurance quotes online before you try riding this bike, because she was well known to be fast and tenacious in the ‘50s and ‘60s. In fact, the Viper holds the record for cruising at 100mph for a whole 24 hours. The Viper was one of the first enclosed production motorcycles but still hasn’t been very well known despite how much of a game changer it was in the industry. Still, as a retro bike the Viper is a feisty beast and handles a lot smoother than its siblings, the Venom and the Thruxton. It’s a great ride and is a hidden gem amongst retro bikes.

Dr. Strange Is An Amazing Surprise

Doctor Strange was one of the most fun movies I’ve seen in a long time. Using elements from Kung Fu movies, Harry Potter, The Matrix, Inception, and the best comic book films, this movie comes out as something truly fun, unique, and it made me smile and thrilled way beyond my expectations. I won’t say it’s the best Marvel film yet, because I still have that “just saw it” glow, but it was pretty fucking great.

Problems with recasting The Ancient One as a white lady are there, but Tilda Swinton does a good job with the role, nonetheless. She’s identified as an ancient celtic wizard in this one. Baron Mordo is a black man in this movie, so that wasn’t the only liberty taken with the source material. Regardless, with so few major Asian character roles in films, it was kind of dumb not to give this part to an Asian actor.

Benedict Cumberbatch is a perfect Doctor Strange. He looks right, has the right amount of smarts and arrogance, and and enough of a sense of humor not to be a total dick. I’d love to see him square off against Loki in a future film.

It’s pretty great.

Grow Up, Green Party

I make a lot of jokes about Dr. Jill Stein, but I think she’s a good person. It’s just sad that she’s truly not a viable candidate and she’s in the mix. As it stands, she’ll only be on the ballot in 23 states (some of which are going to have to be write in), and the campaign admits that though they’re petitioning to be on others, it is not likely she’ll be in all 50. If that party can’t get their shit together to be represented in all 50 states (like the Libertarian Party has), then they really have no business pushing a candidate out there, in my opinion. Get organized more than a year before the election and make this stuff happen, like a group that is serious about showing that they have enough support from the people of the USA to lead this country.

You can’t have a serious party in the USA, and only pop up every 4 years, and expect to grow. Get some mayors, house members, and senators in the mix.

Until then, quit wasting our time.

Laundromat Memories

When I was 10 we didn’t have a washing machine or dryer.

We would actually wash our clothes in the bathtub, and then wring them out. Depending on the time of year the clothes line really wasn’t an option, so my sister and I would take trash bags full of wet clothes to the laundromat and bring them there to dry.

It was always hot and nasty in that place.

Once there was a big fat guy wearing a short sleeve white shirt that was glistening with sweat. He was fanning his face with a Sunset magazine and shouted out, “It’s a goddamn sweat-box in here!”

There was a radio that played through a couple spider-web covered speakers on the corners of the ceiling. The sound mix was half static, half AM Gold. Neil Diamond and his ilk singing through the electric crackles.

There was a cast of unusual regulars that would come in each weekend. A big lady who wore a yellow and orange sun dress and played solitaire over and over again on the table while her clothes spun around. “I don’t have a 6 of clubs, so I use THIS!” she told me as she showed me a coupon for a Wendy’s hamburger.

Ron came in every Saturday. I knew his name was Ron, not because I ever spoke to him, because I was scared of him, but the owner that hung out at the place would say, “That Ron’s a big burnout. I don’t know what’s wrong with him!” every time he left.

Ron would come in without any laundry.

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2016 GREEN PARTY CONVENTION HIGHLIGHTS

DC: Green Party Presidential Nominee Jill Stein Makes Announcement On 2016 Race

Jm J Bullock celebrity impersonator opens with an anti Vax seminar.

Susan Powter leads drum circle.

Julia Sweeney speech.

Fundraising raffle to win lunch with Merv Griffin, Jr.

Free Homeopathic Zika Pill Giveaway

That dude from Spin Doctors.

Someone from Sacramento Natural Foods Co-Op accepts VP Nomination.

Fellow former city Council person who served with Dr. Jill Stein recalls how she once brought napkins to a potluck.

Ralph Nader asks if anyone has a phone charger for his Jitterbug flip phone, “cause that rack at the gas station only had iPhone and mini USB” and calls for charger reform to be on the Green Party Platform.

Bernie Sanders pleads with crowd to “Stop this shit, for the love of God!”

Anson Williams sings “We shall overcome”

That black guy in the audience introduces Dr. Jill Stein

Dr. Jill Stein accepts nomination via messenger owl

Free popsicle stick and yarn “God’s Eyes” under everyone’s chair as a parting gift.

Worms

Last night I cooked a gourmet steak dinner that included a variety of exotic sauteed mushrooms. Some of the shrooms were these long skinny things about the width of a headphone cord.

Linda’s dad was eating with us and he was picking them off of his steak, then proceedd to eat the steak. I told him they were mushrooms and he replied, “Oh, I thought they were worms”.

I love that he was willing to pull “worms” off a steak before he ate it, and didn’t do the natural thing, and flip his plate into the air screaming, “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SERVING ME WORMS?!?!?!?

An Excerpt From Jill Stein’s New Memoir

(An Excerpt from Dr. Jill Stein’s upcoming memoir “Apart Together In Solitude”)

“In a way, I’ve been preparing to be President for a long time. A longer time than some, but a shorter time than others. When 539 total votes showed that the people of Lexington wanted me to represent them with 5 other people as a Town Meeting Representative, I knew I had my finger on the pulse of America. Many people think my time in my only elected office was not sufficient experience to control the world’s largest economy and military, but I beg to differ. Some of my trials and problems I had to work through really showed me what it takes to be a leader. In fact, some of my experiences helped me get a role as a political consultant for Gilmore Girls. Remember that time Taylor Dose wouldn’t let Jackson have a greenhouse so close to his fence line because of the Stars Hollow building regulations? That’s the type of realer than real shit I had to deal with every day.

After my tenure as Town Meeting Representative was over, I decided to ride the wave and run for Governor of Massachusetts. After months of knocking on doors and handing out friendship bracelets at the local Natural Foods Co-Op, I showed the people of my state that I was ready to lead. I received 1.4% of the vote, so I actually got less support than the margin of error, but it was a sign that I had to change my approach and find a way to actully get people to vote for me in ways that probably weren’t accidental.

2 years later, I had my first taste of running for President. It was a hard fought campaign, but I received 0.36% of the popular vote, which FoxNews called “a % only slightly higher than the BAC% for a DUI). After a homeopathic aura reading given to me by Yogi Sequoia, he said that I clearly had a mandate from the spirits of yesterday, so I knew I couldn’t stop.

I won’t stop trying until someday America realizes that I’m the right choice to run this country.

Oligarchy, neoliberalism, TPP, homeopathy, patchouli, and we need to have a hemp based economy. Geode crystal drum circle and GMO’s are bad”

The Luckiest Man In The World

A few years before my dad died from Alzheimer’s Disease, he was living with us, and we were on the porch watching the sun set and talking about the past. He said his life was pretty good. I tried to discuss some of the bad things that had happened and he honestly couldn’t remember them.

I thought he was the luckiest man in the world

Brew Bike Mania

Based on the success of the Sacramento Brew Bike, I’m starting several new bike based attractions to enjoy Midtown

SACRAMENTO BLOW BIKE: You and your friends will each get a pile of high grade cocaine, with a souveiner mirror and razor blade.
(WARNING: The last half of this ride may reach speeds of up to 80MPH)

MIDTOWN OPIUM RICKSHAW: An actual Chinese person will carry you around town while you smoke some of the best opium ever made. Why settle for the dark solitude of an opium den when you can turn to mush in a fun racially insensitive human powered wagon?

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