THE WORST GIMMICK BAND OF
ALL
1981's ALL SPORTS BAND MADE THE VILLAGE PEOPLE LOOK GREAT
I watched Solid Gold pretty religiously. It was
cheesy, but the weekly show was at least a decent snapshot of pop music of the
day. With rare exceptions bands would show up and lip sync to their latest hit,
and sometime up and coming acts would debut. The show was a perfect snapshot of culture as the era of Disco faded
into an uncertain mess of rock ballads, new wave, and R&B. With hosts like Andy
Gibb, Dionne Warwick, and Marilyn McCoo, and regular performers like Wayland
Flowers & Madam (the gay ventriloquist with an old lady puppet). The sexy Solid Gold Dancers were the main
reason I watched. As an evening alternative to American Bandstand, it offered
acts with more primetime appeal to lip sync their latest hits, with performers
as diverse as Bucker and Garcia ("Pac-Man Fever") to Elvis Costello appearing on
the show.
But one disturbing 1981 night, my 11 year old sensibilities were put to the test when I saw an "all
new band" that was ready to take America by storm. Someone apparently thought
The Village People was a great enough gimmick to copy with sports players
instead of gay blue-collar types, so they came up with...The All Sports Band.
The sheer ridiculousness of it was overwhelming. You had a baseball player,
kick boxer (who apparently was a hockey player in concept, but was switched when
they realized skates would be pretty hard to wear onstage), race car driver,
football player, and boxer. Apparently after a long day of playing their
respective sports, they wanted to rock out a little.
The song was a forgettable tune called "Jet Set"
and they were a sight to behold as they played. The football player strummed his
guitar while wearing his pads (with no jersey...to please the ladies), and the
boxer played drums within a cute little boxing ring setup.
They never toured, and never released another album. In fact,
interest in the album they did release was so low, that it hardly shipped to
stores. Most copies that exist are promo editions that were sent to radio
stations.
CLICK
HERE to read the feature on All Sports Band by RECORD ROBOT, which includes
some MP3 downloads from the group, as well.
