2007 is the Chinese Year of the Boar.
It's a year of fertility that will be lucky for people giving birth
during this time (unless you're in China and have a baby girl). What
better way to honor this ancient and silly superstition than by
paying tribute to the great pigs in pop culture history? I'd tell you
that we spent a lot of time whittling it down to the Top 35 of all
time, but frankly it's all we could do to even come up with 35. Pigs
may be some of the tastiest animals ever made. No matter how cute
some of them may be, you can't deny the mouth watering goodness of
bacon. But aside from their culinary contributions to society, it's
time we honor their importance as pop culture icons.
Soooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeey! Here we go!
35
GORDY
34
PIPPO
33
LORD OF THE FLIES
32
SALOMEY
31
PETUNIA PIG
Gordy was a pig movie
from 1995 that had the misfortune of being released the same
year as Babe. Babe could talk so most folks chose to
ignore Gordy. Pippo is from the line of Hello Kitty crap from
Sanrio, while Lord of the Flies may be the most severed pig
head on a stick that inspired a classic novel since the little
read "Charlotte Goes Nuts and Cuts Off Wilbur's Head and Puts
It On A Stick". Salomey was the Yokum family's pet pig from the Li'l Abner
comic strip, and first appeared in 1942. While the pants-free
Petunia Pig has been Porky's gal pal since 1937.
30
RAZORBACK
29
PIGGLY WIGGLY
28
TONTON
27
HAMPTON J PIG
26
GUB GUB
Razorback was an '80s horror
flick about a killer warthog and was directed by Russell
Mulcahy who already had experiences directing scary pigs while
working on Elton John music videos. Piggly Wiggly is the mascot
of the same name supermarket chain which began back in 1919,
while Tonton is one of the only pigs in an Asian cartoon to not
be smothered with sweet and sour sauce. Hampton J. Pig was the
baby equivalent of Porky in Tiny Toon Adventures, while
Gub Gub is not only commong porn film dialogue, but
the name of the pig from the original Dr. Doolittle novel.
25
PIGLING BLAND
24
SPANKY HAM
23
FREDDY
22
PETER PORKER
21
HEN-WEN
Despite the boring surname,
Beatrix Potter's Pigling Bland is a fine pig indeed. He debuted
in the "The Tale of Pigling Bland" where we were introduced to
his family, which includes a sister named (I'm not making this
up) "Suck-Suck". Spanky Ham is the feisty pig from Comedy
Central's Drawn Together.
Freddy The Pig,
though largely forgotten by today's kids, starred in over 26
books between the late '20s and 50s. Peter Porker, The Amazing
Spider-Ham is a fun parody from Marvel which debuted in 1987
and has still appears in new comics from time to time, while
Hen Wen was a special pig from the Taryn Wanderer series of
books (of which, Disney's The Black Cauldron remains one
of the worst films they've ever made).
20
JODIE
19
FLUFFY
18
LINK HOGTHROB
17
PORCO ROSSO
16
PUMBA
Jodie was the spectral pig
creature from The Amityville Horror that still nicer to look at
than a scuzzy James Brolin. South Park's Cartman owned a pig
named Fluffy who was the willing partner in a cross-breeding
experiment with an elephant, while Pigs in Space captain
Link Hogthrob has a name that porn stars would kill for. Porco
Rosso is a fine Miyaziki film creation, while Pumba is the
wildly popular Disney warthog from The Lion King and the
co-star of his own show with buddy Timon.
15
THIS LITTLE PIGGY
14
ARTIE LANGE
13
HOGZILLA
12
OLIVIA
11
PINK FLOYD PIG
Though under immense competition
from the piggy that had roast beef and the piggy that went to
market, the piggy that stayed home is the one I can most
webmasters can identify with (until they introduce that piggy
that lived in the basement of their parent's home until they
were evicted at 35). Howard Stern sidekick
Artie Lange has one of the most disturbingly hilarious stories
about dressing up in a pig suit you'll ever hope to hear (CLICK
HERE and read the Mad TV section). Hogzilla was an amazing
1,000 pound hog that was killed and buried before anyone could
eat him, while Olivia is the star of several beautifully
illustrated children's books by Ian Falconer. Though
Olivia's only been around since 2000, she's already been
featured on a US postage stamp. The giant inflatable pig was a
staple at Pink Floyd concerts, and isn't used anymore so fans
have to settle for Meatloaf as an opening act.
10
HAMM
9
NED BEATTY
8
BABE
7
NAPOLEON
6
ARNOLD ZIFFEL
Hamm, the talking piggy bank
from the Toy Story films was brought to life with the brilliant
voice work of John Ratzenberger. Ned Beatty's pig squeals in Deliverance
remain one of the most accurate animal impersonations captured
on film. George Miller's adaptation of "Babe" is one of the
most charming movies ever made, and Napoleon from George
Orwell's "Animal Farm" is clearly the coolest pig bad guy.
Green Acres' Arnold Ziffel was perhaps the first trained
pig to appear in TV or the movies.
5
MISS PIGGY
4
WILBUR
3
PIGLET
2
THREE LITTLE PIGS
Voiced by film director and
voice of Yoda and Grover, Frank Oz, Miss Piggy may be the
hottest pig to squeeze into a cocktail dress since Designing
Women was canceled. I'd rank "Charlotte's Web" star Wilbur
a bit higher if that '70s film wasn't such a poorly animated
bore. Tbose Garth Williams illustrations are still some of the
most beautiful drawings in a children's book ever published,
next to Ernest Shepherd's gorgeous pictures of Piglet and the
rest of the gang in the original Winnie The Pooh series (I
still refuse to accept the horrible Disney incarnations of
those immortal characters). The Three Little Pigs in their many
incarnations have been shills for the brick industry since the
late 1700s and have even inspired rock songs in their honor,
which brings us to our number one pop culture pig of all
time...
#1 PORKY PIG
First appearing in the short "I
Haven't Got A Hat", Porky has been stuttering his way into our
hearts since 1935 and is one of the earliest Warner Brothers
characters (predating Bugs Bunny by nearly 5 years). Though
most recall Mel Blanc's masterful voice work for Porky, it was
Joe Dougherty, a real life stutterer, who originally portrayed
the character. Mel later won the part in 1937 after Dougherty
reportedly couldn't stutter on demand. Porky remains the gold
standard for pigs everywhere, and is sorely due to appear in
some new cartoons. Here's a handful of video clips to honor him
with.
A PORKY BLOOPER WHERE HE SAYS "SON OF A
BITCH" AFTER HITTING HIS THUMB
MEL BLANC ON THE JOHNNY CARSON SHOW
"PORK JAM"
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!
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