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FAVORITE RETRO POP SONGS
RUINED IN COMMERCIALS

Thought I'd throw together an impromptu list compiled with the help of retroCRUSH members of the commercials that killed your favorite pop songs. I did cheat a little and added commercials that were pop song inspired that I thought were really cool. 

Maxwell House Coffee destroys "Our House" by Madness

 

Sure, it's great firefighters are out there, but who cares that they drink crappy coffee. Some of those old guys are so dried up that they might burst into flames if they get too close to a hot fire. Never a pleasure to hear a bunch of people mutilate one of your favorite songs from the 80's with their mediocre singing and added stupid lyrics. Click here to watch the original video and to hear how the song should sound with the original cute British boys singing it.

Windows XP commercial with Madonna's HIT "Ray of Light"

 

This commercial is a few years old now, but even then I remember thinking Madonna was a sellout whore for allowing Microsoft to use her critically acclaimed "Ray of Light" song. Anyone who has ever tried to use the non functional Windows Movie Maker or has spent 12 hours trying to make their LAN and sound card co-exist in Windows XP knows the kind of shit software Microsoft makes. Plus, what's up with the stupidity of having people flying through the air like they've just taken a hit of acid or gravity disappeared? Click here to see the original Ray of Light video.

Dr. Pepper DESTROYS "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors

 

Dr. Pepper changes the lyrics to "Turning Japanese" to "Turning 23". The sure idiocy of this move ranks right up there with the time 7UP changed their slogan to 7UP yours. Previously, this product had one of THE coolest jingles ever created with, "I'm a pepper. He's a pepper. She's a pepper. We're a pepper. Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too!" Is there no other way possible to sing about the 23 carcinogenic ingredients that go into making Dr. Pepper? Click here to see the video and listen to the non-bastardized version of the song.

COLGATE PUMP USES THE MADNESS SONG "BAGGY TROUSERS"  

I know it's from circa 1986, but I had to include this one. I loved it back in the day and I still do. You can see/hear the original song here. I remember SKA dancing like a madman to the original song as a greasy teenager.

KOHL'S USES "IN A BIG COUNTRY" BY BIG COUNTRY

 

Not a bad acoustic cover of "In a Big Country". I personally prefer the more hard driving version originally done by the 1980's group Big Country. You can watch/see it here. The sad thing is after dealing with drugs and alcohol the handsome lead singer of Big Country ended up hanging himself back in 2001. I guess his legacy lives on to help sell housewares, maternity wear, and cheap jewelry to customers in this Big Country of ours.

LEVI'S USES "TAINTED LOVE" A POPULAR COVER DONE BY SOFT CELL

I couldn't resist putting this brilliant commercial on the list. Just a really great, creative commercial inspired by the cover of "Tained Love" done by Soft Cell back in the 1980's. Unfortunately, I think some of that tainted love got into the lead singer of Soft Cell's Marc Almond's blood and these days he sure isn't the fresh faced boy you see in the music video.

HP USES "Pictures of You" by the Cure

 

The Cure was one of the coolest alternative groups in the 1980's. Their angst ridden songs sung by sexy, crazy haired Goth Robert Smith comforted millions of teenagers growing up. To have them in a corporate commercial selling a perky product just drops them a few notches in my slit my wrists depression book. Click here to see the original video of the song.

SWIFTER RUINS DEVO'S "WHIP IT" WITH DEVO'S HELP

retroCRUSHER Bimmicus writes, "As far as I'm concerned, Devo's "Whip It" will be forever tainted by its transmutation into "Swiff It" for some horrid line of needless and wasteful Procter & Gamble crapola. I know it's supposed to be some big subversive joke on the part of the band, but JEEEzus..." Back in the 1980's I loved DEVO and I honestly can't agree more with Bimmicus. It sucks they changed the lyrics to their own song to push a cruddy $10 cleaning product (and for the creative out there, a cheap sex toy) to the same women who once idolized them as teenagers. Click here to see the original "Whip It" video before they personally destroyed it.

AT&T RUINS OASIS'S "ALL AROUND THE WORLD"

 

It's really not a bad commercial, but as retroCRUSHER mjf7583 wrote "AT&T wrecked Oasis' 'All Around the World,' which you can't hear without thinking of AT&T commercials now."

Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) uses
"Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

 

Is it me or is it really strange to have the song "Sweet home Alabama" when the name of the restaurant is Kentucky Fried Chicken? I guess the strumming banjos from the movie Deliverance that conjure up Kentucky just didn't fit. On a side note it is funny how eye popping excited the cashier is to take his famous bowl and "top it off with gravy". Maybe she's hoping he'll do the same for her at a later date.

KRAFT DESTROYS EMF'S "UNBELIEVABLE"

 

In recent years this one has become the biggest travesties of all time. The words in the song are changed from "Unbelievable" to the incoherent, made up word "Crumbelievable". They even make a lame play on, "Lets get ready to Rumble" in the beginning. This one is so bad that even Stephen Colbert couldn't help but make fun of it. At one time this was one of my favorite songs to play on the jukebox. Not anymore, I hope the people at Kraft choke on their UN-Crumbelievable stupidity for allowing this commercial to be made. Click here to watch the original song/video.

-Randy Waage
randy@retrocrush.com


Check out the topic on our message boards to read or add to what other retroCRUSHERS are saying. This website also has a great compilation of songs from the 1980's used in commercials.

 

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