Thought I'd throw together an impromptu list compiled with the help
of retroCRUSH members of the commercials that killed your favorite
pop songs. I did cheat a little and added commercials that were pop
song inspired that I thought were really cool.
Maxwell House Coffee destroys "Our House" by Madness
Sure, it's great firefighters are out
there, but who cares that they drink crappy coffee. Some of those old
guys are so dried up that they might burst into flames if they get
too close to a hot fire. Never a pleasure to hear a bunch of people
mutilate one of your favorite songs from the 80's with their mediocre
singing and added stupid lyrics. Click
here to watch the original video and to hear how the song should
sound with the original cute British boys singing it.
Windows XP commercial
with Madonna's HIT "Ray of Light"
This commercial is a few years old
now, but even then I remember thinking Madonna was a sellout whore
for allowing Microsoft to use her critically acclaimed "Ray of Light"
song. Anyone who has ever tried to use the non functional Windows
Movie Maker or has spent 12 hours trying to make their LAN and sound
card co-exist in Windows XP knows the kind of shit software Microsoft
makes. Plus, what's up with the stupidity of having people flying
through the air like they've just taken a hit of acid or gravity
here to see the original Ray of Light video.
Pepper DESTROYS "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors
Dr. Pepper changes the lyrics to
"Turning Japanese" to "Turning 23". The sure idiocy of this move
ranks right up there with the time 7UP changed their slogan to 7UP
yours. Previously, this product had one of THE coolest jingles ever
created with, "I'm a pepper. He's a pepper. She's a pepper. We're a
pepper. Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too!" Is there no other way
possible to sing about the 23 carcinogenic ingredients that go into
making Dr. Pepper? Click
here to see the video and listen to the non-bastardized version
of the song.
COLGATE PUMP USES THE MADNESS SONG "BAGGY
I know it's from circa 1986, but I had
to include this one. I loved it back in the day and I still do. You
can see/hear the original song
remember SKA dancing like a madman to the original song as a greasy
KOHL'S USES "IN A BIG COUNTRY" BY BIG COUNTRY
Not a bad acoustic cover of "In a Big
Country". I personally prefer the more hard driving version
originally done by the 1980's group Big Country. You can watch/see it
here. The sad thing is after dealing with drugs and alcohol the
handsome lead singer of Big Country ended up
hanging himself back in 2001. I guess his legacy lives on to help
sell housewares, maternity wear, and cheap jewelry to customers in
this Big Country of ours.
LEVI'S USES "TAINTED LOVE" A POPULAR COVER DONE BY SOFT CELL
I couldn't resist putting this
brilliant commercial on the list. Just a really great, creative
commercial inspired by the cover of
"Tained Love" done by Soft Cell back in the 1980's.
Unfortunately, I think some of that tainted love got into the lead
singer of Soft Cell's Marc Almond's blood and these days he sure
isn't the fresh faced boy you see in the music video.
"Pictures of You" by the Cure
The Cure was one of the coolest
alternative groups in the 1980's. Their angst ridden songs sung by
sexy, crazy haired Goth Robert Smith comforted millions of teenagers
growing up. To have them in a corporate commercial selling a perky
product just drops them a few notches in my slit my wrists depression
here to see the original video of the song.
SWIFTER RUINS DEVO'S "WHIP IT" WITH DEVO'S HELP
retroCRUSHER Bimmicus writes, "As far
as I'm concerned, Devo's "Whip It" will be forever tainted by its
transmutation into "Swiff It" for some horrid line of needless and
wasteful Procter & Gamble crapola. I know it's supposed to be some
big subversive joke on the part of the band, but JEEEzus..." Back in
the 1980's I loved DEVO and I honestly can't agree more with Bimmicus.
It sucks they changed the lyrics to their own song to push a cruddy
$10 cleaning product (and for the creative out there, a cheap sex
toy) to the same women who once idolized them as teenagers. Click
here to see the original
"Whip It" video before they personally destroyed it.
AT&T RUINS OASIS'S "ALL AROUND THE WORLD"
It's really not a bad commercial, but
as retroCRUSHER mjf7583 wrote "AT&T wrecked Oasis' 'All
Around the World,' which you can't hear without thinking of AT&T
Fried Chicken (KFC) uses
"Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Is it me or is it really strange to
have the song "Sweet
home Alabama" when the name of the restaurant is Kentucky Fried
Chicken? I guess the strumming banjos from the movie Deliverance
that conjure up Kentucky just didn't fit. On a side note it is funny
how eye popping excited the cashier is to take his famous bowl and
"top it off with gravy". Maybe she's hoping he'll do the same for her
at a later date.
KRAFT DESTROYS EMF'S "UNBELIEVABLE"
In recent years this one has become
the biggest travesties of all time. The words in the song are changed
from "Unbelievable" to the incoherent, made up word "Crumbelievable".
They even make a lame play on, "Lets get ready to Rumble" in the
beginning. This one is so bad that even
Stephen Colbert couldn't help but make fun of it. At one time
this was one of my favorite songs to play on the jukebox. Not
anymore, I hope the people at Kraft choke on their UN-Crumbelievable
stupidity for allowing this commercial to be made. Click
here to watch the original song/video.